Staying married and yet single


We are taught that marriage is a union between two people usually a man and a woman. And that when people get married, they become one. So they both do not have the kind of rights and privileges they had over their bodies, when they were still single.

But I still hear complains from some women about their husbands not having time for them anymore. Some men also lay the same complaints. And then I begin to wonder why these men or women got married in the first place. Some men just feel marriage is for procreation only. So the only time they meet their wifes is when they want to make babies.

Someone once told me a story about a man in his church who meets his wife only when they want to make babies. His wife wasn’t finding it funny, because every time she wanted to be with her husband, he would say that it’s a sin for them to be together if the motives is not to make babies.

So she reported the matter to their pastor who now called them and counselled them, and made the man to understand that sex in marriage is not for procreation only but also for enjoyment. And that it’s not a sin as long as it’s done with his wife.

Some people are married, but still single, I call them married singles. Their partners are never around. If they are not in Dubai today, they are in America tomorrow. And then when the women involved complains, the men would say they are making the monies for them. Arrant nonsense, what’s the essence of the money if you can’t enjoy it with the person you love.

They has to be a balance. Making money is good, but when one party is suffering as a result of that, then something is wrong.

Some men who work in the field, these men work one month on and one month off, but instead of going home to be with their wifes, they will first spend about two weeks in the hotel with their girlfriends before they go home. And the question I always ask is, so what is the essence of the marriage then.

God says it’s not good for a man to be alone, and so he created Eve to keep Adam company and also help him in some areas.

The devil has attacked so many marriages that the people involved now see marriage as endurance. It’s not bad to endure, but it shouldn’t be with so much pain.

I saw a movie once, it was about a young man and a young lady who met during youth service and got married afterwards. These two were happily married, even when the man had nothing, the lady was very happy. They both started life in a one room apartment.

And then the woman started praying to God to bless her husband. God blessed her husband with so much wealth. Little did she know that that would be the beginning of her problems.

They built a duplex with so many rooms and in her ignorance, she asked for her own room. According to her, whenever she had a quarrel with her husband, she will go to her room and stay.

Her husband became so rich that he hardly came back home, he was always going for one business trip or the other. And when he was home, he didn’t  even notice her presence. And for a long time the woman was sex starved. It wasn’t because the man was cheating or he was impotent, he just didn’t have time for any other thing apart from his business.

Did I mention that they had no child? How could they when the man wasn’t sleeping with her. She became so miserable, no husband, no children only big cars and a very big house.

So many rich women you see today are going through even worse. In my post; The rich also cry, don’t envy them. That woman’s situation is really bad. And they are so many of them out there, envying poor couples. At least the only problems those ones have is finance.

So what am saying in nutshell is that, be careful who you choose as a life partner. Don’t get married because of wealth, and when you ask God to bless your husband or wife financially, remember to ask him not to allow you loose your partner when the blessings eventually comes. God bless you


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