Wholesomeness in Singlehood


When we are told to fill a form, often a space is provided for marital status and so those who are not married tick single. This does not make any of the parties (Married/Single) more human. Being married does not make one more complete. It is just a status and does not and should not define the evaluation of ourselves.

It is possible to be a 40 year old boy and a 16 year old man, the age only indicates the number of years of existence but maturity is of the mind, it requires conscious effort. As it is to age, so it is to marital status.

My pastor once told us a story of how he was described somewhere in a church he was invited to preach and was the main speaker. He said; We had such a powerful meeting, a lot of people gave their lives to Christ and many got healed. But when it was time for counseling, one of the leaders of the church who took the announcement said, we don’t want the married people to go and see pastor O for counseling, she directed them elsewhere and her reason was that I was single at the time and therefore handicapped to handle matters of the married.

“How handicapped could this pastor O who was a blessing to you during the main program be” I wondered. The funny part of the story is that about everybody I counselled that day were married, they came under different guise, like wanting prayer for this or that. But our discussion bothered on deeply family issues. Perhaps they knew what they want and where to go get it from and so by all means broke the status jinx.

You see status discrimination has placed many singles under pressure, they begin to see themselves only complete when they are married.

Do not allow the society determine how you see yourself, people who do this, often end up having problems. Some singles are placed under pressure by parents, relatives and friends, to marry. Being single is not a curse. Jesus was single all his life, likewise Paul.

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