How I was able to stop domestic violence in my home

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In one of the Facebook groups that I am a member, one of the admins shared a picture of a woman who is also a member of that group who was badly beaten by her husband. And the most painful part of it all is that the marriage is less than two years old. Normally when people share very sensitive post like that, I like reading the members’ comments.

In comment section, the women didn’t spare the man. They called the man all sorts of names and advised the woman to leave the marriage which is actually the ideal thing to do to avoid stories that touch. On the other hand, nobody has heard the man’s own side of the story. People judged the man without hearing his own side of the story.

My mum always say that to be a good judge, you must listen to both parties. Because everybody wants to be supported, so they say their own part to suit them.

This reminds me of when my uncle and his wife were having issues with their marriage, the man of God who was handling the matter summoned the couple with their friends and family members to resolve the issue. The man was asked to speak first, after he finished narrating his own side, everybody present in the meeting felt like killing his wife. But when the woman narrated her own side of the story, the same people who felt like killing the woman started having pity on her and saying that they won’t be able to tolerate half of what the woman going through in the hands of the man.

In as much as am not in support of domestic violence, women should learn to avoid what will make them go through such torture in the hands of their partners. Whether we like it or not, violent men will always find women to marry. Some of them do it unconsciously and become sober afterwards. For some, it is what they saw their father doing to their mum so they fill it’s normal. Some of them do it out of frustration.

Men are like babies just give them what they want and you are good. The problem with most women is their mouth. Their mouth is like machine gun. They just keep pouring out the bullets. And men don’t like it. Most men don’t know how to take such nonsense. My husband was once a violent man. He can go to the moon for you but they are certain things that he cannot tolerate. He is the type of person that expects you to keep saying am sorry while he pours insults on you.

When I didn’t know at first, we used to fight a lot because when he starts pouring those insults, I will pour out mine. And he will say “ just keep saying am sorry” and I will say for what? I have said am sorry and yet you keep pouring out insults and you expect me to just keep quiet and keep saying am sorry? That will annoy him and he will hit me very hard.

Then one day I decided to try it. While he was pouring out the insults I didn’t just keep quiet I just kept saying am sorry. Even while I was saying that, he didn’t keep quiet o he continued until he was tired. But it worked he didn’t raise his hands on me ever.

Its not easy to be married to violent men most especially the difficult to please one’s. But everybody has a soft spot. Once you are able to locate that of your partner, make sure that you use it to your advantage. God bless you.

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