By Rev Oje Ohiwerei
Text : Gen 1;26-30
What is the plan of God for marriage in the beginning?
If we do not understand what God did with Adam,we cannot understand the role of Eve.
As long as you want to drag the place of a man you cannot enjoy your marriage nor be satisfied…
Women liberation is satanic and one of the reasons many homes don’t have peace.
God designed one man and in that man He had all human beings and gave him charge.
Everything on Earth was on a standstill because God was waiting for man to be made to reign over the Earth.
As man worked,he fulfilled God’s will when it comes to work perfectly but he was alone and as long as he was alone,the purpose of his design could not be fulfilled.
God made a suitable companion,one that was comparable to him,full of strength to help him bring forth the purpose that God
All the seed that God put in Adam remained dormant until the woman came.
The purpose of the helper was to attract from him the seed of life to bring forth
He requires the male and female but he made the male first ,the woman was not an afterthought
Man could not fulfill the plan of God for his life alone,he needed the woman to fulfill it.
When God made Adam in the beginning, He had the woman in mind
He designed them in such a way that when they both come together they will bring forth the will of God to pass
God intended that there will always be a leader in this union so He made the man to lead
The creation of a woman was both purpose and time specific
God did not design Adam to be a single man nor Eve to be a single woman .
He designed man to be a husband and the woman to be a wife.
I Cor 11:8-
The wife is designed for the husband to do what? “To Help. ”
What is she helping?
She was designed to aid,to fill in the areas of his deficiency…
Companionship and Procreation.
Human beings are designed to be creations of fellowship, social beings hence cannot cope when left all alone in a place for long.
For fellowship the woman was made to satisfy….
The purpose that God had designed man for ,he could not carry it out alone. He could work alone, exercising influence and authority around the globe alone but he could not raise a family alone .
What man needed to bring forth was designed in the woman.
Until there is an embryo there is no life so God designed the woman with a Uterus to bring forth.
*Companionship and procreation*
The woman was made for the man as a helper not as a tool or slave
When God uses the word helper for the woman it is same as He being our helper.
God can help man because God is strong where man is weak so likewise the woman as a helper is strong to aid his deficiencies.
In order to make supply the marriage union
Ask yourself,am I a help to this man,my husband?
What’s my place in the marriage?.
I am a helper
I am a supplier
As a helper God is speaking from the place of strength not weakness
The woman was made for the man and in saying that God was defining the structure of authority in marriage…
That you are under the authority of man doesn’t make you inferior to him
It is about order, hierarchy in the pursuit of excellence.
The man is the leader,the woman is the follower
Following is not inferior to the leader, a co pilot follows the leading to the other pilot.
The enemy did not go through the man,he went through the woman.
She violated the structure of marriage,she should have first gone to meet Adam and discuss What the devil said and seek his permission but rather she trampled upon the authority.
Adam failed to assume the position of leadership and surrendered it to a woman
The failure of mankind in the garden of Eden was the failure by the first marriage
The order of God was violated by the failure of the first marriage
*Gen 3: 16*
Two things here in the curse for the woman companionship how you will relate with your husband and then child bearing
Women will struggle to dominate their husbands but the husbands will break them and rule over them.
When women want to dominate their husbands now is part of the curse
Men who wants to dominate their wives rather than lead them is part of the curse.
Gen 3:16 different translations.
You will desire to control your husband
This is not the order of God,it is not a master slave relationship,it is a competition which bring struggle and wrestling and this creates a lot of misunderstanding in the marriage union.
Sin affects man’s entire make up,it permeates the emotions,will, personality, character etc
Even being born doesn’t get there immmediatly.
The spirit is touched but the soul needs to be renewed.
Your mind, personality,will,desire begins to change and become spirit controlled
An unsanctified mind in marriage will produce problems,it is a canal mind full of it’s own ways.
God is saying to Goldy women, understand the pattern and structure of God in the marriage union and voluntarily yield that’s the meaning of submit yourself
You don’t need to be beaten by your husband to yield, submit yourself free and willingly not under compulsion
when you submit yourself willingly then Sin does not control you anymore
You are being dominated by the will of God and by choice.
Your submission should not be coerced by certain things but rather by choice to do the will of God
Make that choice,do it by yourself because you recognize that this is the will of God and there will be no struggle..
You learn it, you grow in it
You get better as the years go,the product of self discipline
Take your eyes away from your husband’s attitude whether good or bad and look at yourself as the problem for now
The husband is the head of the wife….
If you are married to a man who does not do the will of God it doesn’t violate the instructions and word of God as regards submission
Not based on cultural affiliation but strictly the word of God
He didnt begin the discuss in Ephesians by talking to the man rather He began the discuss by addressing women
Compare the way the church is to submit to Christ with a wife submitting to the husband
The church reveres Christ,esteems Him highly and God is saying wives do likewise in everything
The wife should see that she reverence her husband
Read Vs 33 in Amplified version
This is the demand of scripture for a godly Union.
My devotion,honour love and esteem for my husband must have it’s root in the fear of God and not whether he deserves it or not but as unto the Lord.
When you curse out your husband because of anything you are displeasing the Lord
The spirit of a woman rules the home. If she has a bitter tongue you will see it in the home,if she has a sweet contenance you will see it in the home.
It is your attitude that shapes the condition of your home
What are you supplying in your home? Are you supplying wisdom or foolishness?…
Do you withdraw from your resource to carry the home through?
Sarah’s action in the issue with Haggai might be wrong but she didn’t do it without the permission of her husband and that’s why God said to her to return and submit.
The action of Sarah preserved the authority of the Lord
Understanding the structure of the authority of a home,the wise woman builds her home but a fool tears it down
A wise woman is a secure woman and she understands her value.. she is not in search of validation to be secured in herself..
She has the presence of mind to build
Every builder has a clear blue print to follow
Builders acquire and secure one skill at a time
You are born with the potential for it,but you need to develop it
Every woman can build her home but not all women will build…
There is a skill involved in building a godly home and that skill has to be learnt
The skill is not spontaneous,it is learnt with time.
It is developed from the values that you have learnt and imbibed
It is developed over time of learning and continuous practice
For the older women who have built their home with patience and perseverance,you have learnt a skill to build your home and you must continue to impact that skill to younger ones
Loving your husband doesn’t come from an emotional feeling.
When you are able to love your husband despite and inspite of his flaws then we know you have learnt skill.
When you are not full of criticism and rebuke then we know you have learnt skill
You can be the best in bed and the best cook and yet have no skill to love your husband
A wise woman builds her home but a foolish one pulls it apart
Those who build houses usually have a tenacious spirit of patience and perseverance
You are not building aright,if you don’t persevere and patiently build …
When the condition of the husband and wife is not right,it affects the children and generations to come
But for the godly seed, you can Cleanse out,sanctify,purify,restructure
Prov 31: 10
Who can find?
A man who has found one is blessed beyond all measure..
Who is looking for? It is the man
She is much precious than Jewel,she is a woman to be valued,preserved,adored and what attracts this is her virtues
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband because he holds her up,puts her on his head,serves her with his authority and influence.
A crown is not hidden..
The husband is proud of her…
When her husband begins to talk of her it is with much regard
This is the goal of spiritual excellence
I Pet 3: 1-7
In the sight of God,of great price
It is your place of appointment
Her Glory, splendour and excellence is not in her competition or struggle with her husband but the honor which she gives her husband
She does him good and not evil every day
Her husband is honoured in the city gate because she does the following
1)she supports him
You watch out for him, you have his best interest at heart,a support is something you can lean on and feel safe there in
A helper is a strengthener,like a standby,a comfort,he is naked before her and not ashamed,he can lay bare his entire heart,she is not quick to speak,she listens to understand and then comfort and encourage him
he opens himself before her,all his anxiety, concerns, interest etc he bares before her because she is a helper to fill out his deficiency
A contentious place is not the place where he wants to rest because he doesn’t find support there
Surround him with love, compassion, nurture him like a woman would her child.
The virtuous woman handles her man well and then the man becomes like a child,where they both lack they seek counsel…
My role in the marriage as a wife is to be a support
The rib is like a beam and it is meant for holding strong as a support
The delicate aspects of you fits his perfectly
The heart of her husband does safely trust in her
2)She esteems him
3)She trusts her husband…
If he doesn’t have a problem don’t impose or impute one into him…
It is always good not to ever brand your husband upon the things people say about men
Know your husband , don’t relate with him based on the general concept of what men like,know what he likes
In diligently trying to love your husband you must know him as a person and not in the view of the general thoughts of men
You get through to your husband and satisfy him when you do what he wants and not the general norms
You will be creating a problem where there is none when you follow the general tags placed on men like “all men are dogs”
When you have no reason to trust,keep trusting and then you will have a good home
4)She gives him peace…
Peace is the ingredient that makes a home what it is,a house that is at peace the husband always looks forward to coming home
A man will rather be in a roof top than with a cranky woman in the house.
A home is a place of peace…
Without peace you cannot build…m
where there is strive there is destruction but when there is peace you can build.
David wanted to build a house for God but God refused,he could not build for God because his hand was full of blood cos he was a man of war so he arranged materials for his son
A wise woman builds by surrounding her home with peace.
It is the fruit of the Spirit
It is normally through temperance that you can secure peace,not malicious in speech
5)Her bed is not cold,her bed is warm,hot,fire sparked, fireworks all the time,she satisfies her husband sexually and also enjoy the act of love making.
As a wife learn to participate and initiate the process of love making, don’t leave it all to your husband,don’t be frigid.
I Cor 7:3-5
Don’t trade sex for something that you want from him
God bless you 🙏