Infidelity is common these days, even amongst Christians. During the time of our parents, infidelity in a married woman was not common. Any married woman caught cheating on her husband was treated as an outcast by her fellow women. But these days, the reverse is the case. The men are cheating the women are cheating, even men of God cheat on their wives.
If your spouse is cheating on you, ask yourself these questions; Have I been a faithful husband or wife? Because the reason why some people cheat is that their partner is cheating, which is not a good reason anyway. Do I satisfy my spouse sexually? Am I always available when my spouse needs me? Am I still sexually attractive?
Having to deal with infidelity is not a pleasant experience, so if your spouse has not already started cheating, do not give him or her room to do so. However, for those experiencing infidelity, all hope is not lost. Below are the steps on how to win your man back.
1. Be faithful to your spouse: Nobody likes a cheating partner. One reason why some people cheat on their spouse is that the other person is cheating. Some people will tell you that they do it to get even. In as much as I do not believe in this school of thought, it still doesn’t change the fact that most infidelity is caused by unfaithfulness if you know what I mean.
2. Learn to satisfy your spouse sexually: I know a Christian man who sleeps with his wife only when he wants to make babies. The woman complained bitterly. When the news got to their pastor, and the pastor tried to find out his reasons for sleeping with his wife only when they want to make babies, he said that it is a sin against God. However, the pastor made him understand that sex with your spouse is not a sin against God.
Now, in the case of this couple, the woman was able to speak up. What if she didn’t speak up and decided to satisfy herself with another man. When you do not satisfy your spouse sexually, they are tendencies that they will cheat. So if you do not want your spouse to cheat, you have to learn how to satisfy them sexually.
They are books that explain different sex positions. Books like Great Sex, Christian Style by Ned Pelger. This book is one man’s honest pursuit of sexual happiness for the God-loving universe. With humor and soul, Pelger explores the sexual wake of Christianity, communicating insightful navigations and scholarly musings on centuries-old practice and teachings. Great Sex challenges Christians and non-Christians alike to question what they thought they knew about the Bible and sex. You can read such books and try to experiment with them with your spouse. You don’t have to be shy about it. They are also other great books like The christian couple, Orgasm and sex by Dunamis Okunowo.
In this book, the writer explains that one of the greatest problems Christians face is inability to learn more about sex, orgasm, sex positions without bumping into pornography and perversion. This book is the way out!
One of the reasons for adultery is a boring sexual life with one’s spouse. While there should be no excuse for sin and compromise, this fact cannot be overlooked. It is interesting that as much as this area is crucial to every marriage, most churches are hardly discussing this.
The good thing about marriage is that you have the license to try anything with your spouse.
I understand that some people find sex painful, maybe because of their past experiences, as in the case of abuse. If that is your case, you can seek help from a counselor.
3. Be available: I do not mean that you should abandon your work or business so that you can be available for your spouse. What I mean is this, when you are with your spouse, and he or she needs you, don’t start complaining about being tired, or that you are not in the mood, and so on. I understand that they are times when you are tired as a result of work stress. And there are times too when you are not in the mood for sex, but it could be negotiated. You can say something like, honey I am tired now, but give me some time to rest, and I will make it up to you. Now make sure that you keep to your promise because you have raised his or her hopes high, and it will be very wicked of you not to fulfill your promise.
4. Be sexually attractive: This is where most people have lost it. As soon as they get married they stop being sexually attractive. They stop taking care of themselves. This applies to both men and women. You can not be looking unattractive because you are now married. This is when you should look even more attractive. If you are always looking sexy, it will be difficult for your spouse to look at other men or women.
5. Settle your differences as quickly as possible: Quarrelling and fighting are very common in a relationship. However, you must settle your differences as quickly as possible because if it lingers for too long, they are always tendencies for your partner to find solace in the arm of another person.
6. Never deny your spouse sex: Some people make the mistake of denying their spouse sex when they are not happy with them. This can make your spouse cheat on you. No matter how angry you are with your spouse, make sure that it does not affect your sex life. Apart from the fact that your spouse can cheat, you can also lose the person completely, if not handled properly.